“If it’s not one thing, it’s another!”

It’s just about enough to make me do something almost drastic, like use up all of my sick days at once, and cash in those precious frequent flyer miles I’ve been coveting since I don’t know when and fly to Tuscany. I’m not kidding.  Let me be clear–I’m good under pressure. You want me around in a crisis. But juggling a real-estate money-pit quagmire gone-wild,  a currently frightful work environment, and a 19 year old with Aspergers announcing his intention to drop out of high school for this week’s excitement, topped only by being rear-ended hard by an iron-giant Monster Truck driven by an apologetic soldier…

As a lark, I actually looked up whether Mercury was in retrograde right now. Guess what? Mercury wasn’t, but Mars AND Saturn are, until freaking April!

But what’s a formerly positive person to do?  After much pouting, and not much sleep, I begrudgingly acknowledge that I’m in this current lovely reality as part of the journey, and that the challenge is not to continue let this rain on my parade, and at least wear my awesome psychedelic rain boots.

A few of my tried and true coping strategies:

1.  Denial. Really. It works. It may piss off your mother when she calls and wants details on everything, but otherwise, I highly recommended this while waiting for the universe to straighten itself out.

2.  Do something awesome for someone.  I’m trying to pay into the cosmic debris and tilt this thing on its axle. Rotate, damn it!

3.  Breathe. I’ve never been big on breathing, but I’m working on it. People tell me it helps.

4. Arts and Crafts. Making those Voodoo dolls was very cathartic.

5. Watch only  vintage television like “I Love Lucy” or “The Brady Bunch” where everything is predictable and always works out in the end.

6. Although I am not a big drinker, I have come to believe in the relief of a well timed glass of elegant Pinot Noir.

And if all else fails, remember… in the words of Roseanne Roseannadanna, “It just goes to show ya! It’s always somethin’! If it’s not one thing, it’s another! Either you smoke or you have a sweat ball hangin’ off your nose!”

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